Journal: Morning 10 Jul 2017

Hello Blog, my old friend.  It has been a number of weeks since I wrote last.  Surgeries and recovery and selling Dad’s house and all. It has been a little consuming on the mental front.  Today is my first full week back to the grind.  Thought I would start it right and write.

I have been working on old photographs and tracking my ancestry.  Seems fitting as I feel a little out of sorts with “who am I?”  Don’t be mistaken, having the last ovary removed did not leave me with the feeling of having “lost my center as a woman”.  I have read that is an issue with some women.  It was a relief, truth be told.  It is just that I have had two summers of recovery from major surgeries and things I wanted to do have been put a little on hold.  I have a vintage camper now that I have been unable to use because of recovering.  There was a half marathon I wanted to run but cannot because of recovering.  I thought I would be out of work for a much shorter duration and instead, weeks later, I am finding myself a little overwhelmed with the volume of catching up I am doing.  This weekend I pushed myself physically to work on my basement and to start sorting boxes from Dad’s.  Needs to be done but bittersweet, the memories I have found.  Some are frustrating and bring up old wounds.  All part of the necessary process. Yesterday I was able to get in 11k in steps.  The most I have had in maybe two months.  Today I feel it.  In a week and a half I will start light jogging.  I have small races to participate in for Sept, Oct, Nov.  I have not read a single book in like a year.  I have stacks that stare at me begging for attention.  Soon, I think. I just feel like a leaf floating on the river, a bit aimless, spinning sometimes.  I will right myself soon.  I will be frustrated until then.  So this paragraph is a commitment to forward motion.  Small steps.  Positive steps.  Reading, (w)’Riting and Running.  I was never good at math…

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