Personal History: 50 / 50 Introspection

So, for two days in a row, I have had photos I posted to the Insta world make me think about a 50/50 life lesson.

I know my peeps will be tired of duplication after a while but oh well. It is MY timelines. ha.  So this picture, the rearview, the looking back – it made me think about:


Throughout my life, during times of change, I would always take the time to stop and think about my life’s trail up to that point. Usually there was a breakup or a birthday or a job change that would spur the study of how I came to this point.  I continue to believe that a certain amount of reflection upon one’s life is healthy. I also know that with a person like me (depressive, rigid in some routines, battling rapid thoughts), it can also trend to unhealthy.

Have you ever heard of a Kugel fountain?

it is a water feature that uses a sphere (usually for effect it is a massive granite piece) and a thinnish layer of water beneath. Using the action of aquaplaning, it can spin. The amazing thing is, here is this huge hunk of round rock that would take PEOPLE to move otherwise, but given the right circumstances, and the slightest of influences, a person can push it with one finger.

I used to describe my introspection as having a smooth rock in my hand and that hand was in a pocket.  With my fingers, I turn it over and over, learning each curve, each blemish.  Then one day I saw a Kugel fountain and realized my introspection is just like the water feature.  With the slightest of outward stimuli, I can then roll this huge ball of rock around, inspecting each inch of it’s face, where the colors change, where there is a pattern, where things are different.

When that water dries up, the rock becomes immobile again, rigid in its place.

So, this rambling blog here – I am trying to think of what I have learned:

When circumstances present themselves, introspection is a natural and healthy occurrence. Just do not get so caught up in spinning that ball around that you forget to enjoy the moment you are living within.

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