Journal: Morning 11 Sep 2017

It is the 16th Anniversary of 911.  I cried a little this morning looking at my “On This Day” news feed. Every year I struggle with the day.

On that day I had Aunt in-laws in two of the spots: the Towers and the Pentagon.  My ex was stuck in an NYPD bus on a bridge and called me on his way into Downtown Manhattan to be put to use.  He watched from that vantage point as Tower 2 fell.  The sound of his voice, the words “…it was been there my whole life and it’s just…gone.”

Today I will listen to the names as they are called.  I will say a little prayer when the bell tolls for the moments when the planes hit.  I will shed tears and be horribly sad.  I will close my office door for the day because I try to reflect on the magnitude of such an event on regular people, the families, the survivors, the rescue teams, America in general.

I love NYC, from the moment I first stepped foot in it. It was the place that I felt the most like myself and people accepted me for who I am/was.  It was the first place in my life that I felt I actually “lived my life”.  I do not believe that I fully “matured” until I was there, as if I floated along in life and my roots kinda stuck there.  I miss it.  Especially today when you can openly grieve and it is understood why.  My eyes will be red today and I will have to explain to some kind soul that “nothing happened” or “I am just remembering people from 911”.

I am a different person than I was then, in a multitude of ways.  But who I am today is a direct result of the time I spent there.

My heart aches today.  I will try to be nice to a random person, say a kind word to a stranger and smile at someone who seems unable to do the same.

Love is greater than hate.

911 #NeverForget

Image #: 24269160 The Tribute in Light is illuminated next to the Statue of Liberty (C) and One World Trade Center (L) during events marking the 12th anniversary of the 9/11 attacks on the World Trade Center in New York, September 10, 2013. REUTERS/Gary Hershorn (UNITED STATES – Tags: ANNIVERSARY CITYSCAPE DISASTER) REUTERS /GARY HERSHORN /LANDOV

 

 

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