I am looking forward to this race quite a bit. However, I am severely under-prepared. I have a mantra: “I never claimed to be fast but I am determined to finish.” That has been a common theme for me throughout all of the races in which I have participated. This one will be no different.
There. I typed it. He died. I now live in a world where neither Parent is present in real-form. ((inhale. exhale.)) My feelings are raw but I have tamped them down with fair ease. It is unlike when Ma died. Then, I felt everything. It was as if every nerve was exposed and begged to be set on fire. Now, I am a version of numb. Eventually that barrier will crumble and I will be left in a heap. For now the disconnect is a welcome break.
The last time I ran was on September 17th at the Mothman Festival in Pt Pleasant, WV. Eventually, I will blog about the race and festival. After that race, as I walked back to my car, I received the call that Dad was being moved to WVU Ruby Memorial. The three and a half weeks since then have been a blur. I have gotten a couple of good walks in since then. The clear-your-head kind of walks. But nothing of merit. For the Mothman 5k, my Garmin said I ran 2.99 miles in 41:47:87. I am shooting to run a similar pace. If I am under, that would be awesome. If I am over, I will have something to benchmark training from. The Air Force Half Marathon is in 337 days and I will need a springboard point to start from.
I hear there will be hills.
And then there is the bridge which I have longed to run across.
And there will be crowds.
And my mind will be on Daddy and how, in a healthier day, he would have enjoyed this.
I will post my typical “this is a self serving long winded running blog” next week sometime (and I will catch up on the other nine blogs I have in the hopper that are months old). I will cover the health of my parents, how their health affected my views of healthcare and how running calms my irritable soul. Until then, on Saturday morning around 9AM, have me in your thoughts and send positive vibes my way.