Brotherly Love (Warning: this one is long folks.)

No, I am not moving to Philly.  That would be a much easier topic to tackle than what I am about to dive into here on my blog.  ((Inhale, exhale, inhale, sigh))  Because my step-brother has harassed me to the point of scaring me – because (finally) being my normal blunt self and telling him to leave me alone or I would seek a restraining order did not work – because since my certified letter asking him to cease and desist all forms of contact with both me and my daughter has sent him into a tizzy where he has written to my Dad (who I did not tell of the issues with step brother) and his making several phone calls to various relatives, seeking their sympathy – I have decided to take matters to blog so I can chronicle my plight.  Because he scares me, because I think he has severe mental issues – I just want a record of events and issues in the event he shows he is capable of more than just harassing me.

I can remember meeting my step-brother when I was no more than four or five years old.  It was Easter-time.  I can remember the mustard yellow dress, hat and stockings I wore (a pic of me in that outfit on that day can be found on my FaceBook profile).  Sigh, I was a slave to my Ma’s fashion choices.  I can remember him being there in a suit.  And, although I cannot remember details of our conversations or what we did, I can remember the feeling of unease being around him caused.  I can remember being glad when he left to return to his home in Ohio.

It was a number of years later when I overheard a conversation my Ma was having (and it was discussed with me in later years) – I was maybe a (pre) teen.  My Ma was upset that he had written me a letter in which he had asked me for pictures in my bathing suit.  I can remember how infuriated my Ma was and how inappropriate she found it.  It was only recently that I have found out that (I am assuming around the same time) he had written to one of my aunts with the same request.  Between that occurrence and my Ma’s death, I cannot recall a single time that I saw my step brother.  My parents would travel to Ohio to visit him, that was it.  I never tagged along for those visits, I was left (happily) with my Grandparents.  Some years before my Ma’s death I CAN remember a conversation with her that he had lost a job due to sexual harassment and that he felt it was a misunderstanding.  I do not know the details of that or the severity – but I believed it then and even more so now.

When my Ma passed it was as if a convergence of crazy occurred at her wake/funeral.  You know in the fantasy movies when the person who cast the protective spell dies and all the crappy characters now enter the scene carte blanche?  Yeah, if my life were a fantasy movie that would have been the scene theme for Ma’s services.  I had a prodigal half-sister and prodigal step-brother arrive on the scene / my crazy aunt had the funeral home call to see if she could be granted permission to pay respects outside of the regular service hours so as to not get an ass whomping from the rest of us…  Because Ma’s death ripped away from me a large chunk of my heart, I tried very hard to see past my side of all three sets of their issues.  My aunt was granted permission to pay her respects outside of the regular visitation (although she refused to see Ma while she was alive, who was I to stop her from trying to appease the dead), I told the half-sister that I would try to start working towards “normal” with her but not at that moment (again, my heart was overwhelmed from the loss) and I decided to ignore the unease I felt whenever I was in the same room as SB (step brother).

There was a flurry of activity that surrounded the death of Ma.  I slept little.  I worked at odd things (like going through all of her closets and bagging up all of the clothes that needed to be distributed – going through memory chests – lots of activity and little sleep).  I was oblivious to outside forces at that point.  Also at that time, I was living with a Nashville native who had made the trek from NY to WV with me.  I had never given him the history on SB, just noted that I never felt comfortable around him and asked that he buffer for me.  He did a great job at that.  Nashville came to me at one point and asked if SB had a mental condition or something because there was something “just not right” about him.  SB asked for pictures of me and I acted as if I did not hear him, something about that letter from all those years ago just made me feel as if it would be creepy for him to have any photo of me.  My Sister D (who is my step-sister but more like my only sister in my eyes) was going through picture albums and taking snapshots of Dad’s old black and white photos with her camera.  She came upon a picture of me and SB asked that she snap it and email it to him.  I asked her to ignore his request (it was a picture of me so I felt I was able to veto that request).

In the weeks after Ma’s death I was faced with a number of life changes: Nashville proposed marriage and I said yes; I gave notice to my job; and I moved home to West Virginia to be closer to my Daddy.  Somewhere during that time, SB and the half-sister (not to be confused with D) added me on FaceBook.  I felt that it would be aggravating but harmless, what is the worse that could happen?  For reasons to be posted in another blog, the prodigal half-sister was defriended and blocked.  So was SB.  And this is why – I cannot recall the specifics of the status update but it had to do with Star Wars characters.  Many comments were being exchanged when in the middle of it all SB commented that he would be Han Solo and I would be Princess Leia.  To save myself from embarrassment as that was a set of characters who shared a love interest and he and I were step-siblings – I commented ‘No, we would be more like Luke and Leia.  You know, brother and sister.”  He went on a rampage of how that is not right, Han and Leia it was.  It was a rampage that was enough to cause Nashville to chime in with a “give it a rest you effing creep” comment.  I deleted the exchange (utterly embarrassed that I was then moving to WV and here my SB appeared to be having a thing for me), I defriended and blocked him.

Before I blocked him though, I received the following message:

Um, at the expense of sounding not too well written I must say – W.T.F.?  Seriously?  I do not know this guy and he wants to tell me Becky (spelled wrong) is always with me in spirit?  Thanks but I will pass.  My Ma, Beckie, did her best to make sure we were never in the same place at the same time so please try another angle.  …likes scrunchy face?  WTF?!?  What are you, twelve?!?  You are doing a “shout out” to my (at that time) nineteen year old daughter!! Keg party?!?! BYOK?!?  Sheesh!

In the months since that time, I have blocked three different pages that he has created.  He adds, I block.  You would think that would be a hint in itself.  But no.

In the fall of 2010, Daddy received a child support notification.  That’s right, my Dad, pushing 70 received a child support notification.  From SB’s mother.  She had found some loophole in the system that the age of child support in the state of Ohio had been changed from 18 to 21.  SB was in the friggin MILITARY then!!!  And the state of Ohio was bound and determined that my Daddy should have paid child support.  So SB (pushing frigging 50) was due child support… PUSHING FIFTY!!  Sigh.  Anger resurfaces for me on that one.  My Ma passed and the first moment they could, these two vultures decided they would try to see what they could scrape away from my Dad.  They did not realize that with the passing of my Ma, my Dad’s social security was cut in more than half.  He had come to a point in his life he did not expect – one in which he was without his wife and had to learn to better manage his money.  And then here were frick and frack trying to stick out a hand and grab whatever they could.  I have no respect for that.  None.  My Dad had (in those years) tried his best to make some sort of relationship work with SB.  He tried to build upon whatever was there, visited him, asked him to visit.  Ugh.  And then that.  I told him (and I am not ashamed that I said so) “It will be her undoing – she will not live to see the full payment of that debt.”  She died after receiving one child support payment.

Go ahead, say it – shame on me.  I don’t care.  I feel no remorse for saying it nor do I feel sympathy that she passed.  My Dad made amends, I did not have to.

I told my Dad that I would not seek SB out BUT if he EVER reached out to me, it would be my ticket to unleash the fires of hell.  That opportunity presented itself on Veteran’s Day in 2010.  The following exchange occurred:

Hello from SB Michelle,tell Dad that I said Happy Veterans Day.(his son

Michelle Seletyn Rodriguez   Please do not ever speak to me again. You and your Mom are suing MY Daddy for child support…seriously? How old are you?!?! Not so much a son-ly thing to do – especially with him barely making his ends meet…. Way to go ‘son’. Loose my contact info, do not EVER speak to me again. Not sure if you and your Mother thought he received some huge life insurance payment for my Mom but he did not…. What a piece of work the two of you are. AND you have the nerve to reach out to me like I want to be friendly with you? Get lost!

That was the “niced up” version I sent.  There was one which was much more scathing that noted I was not beyond making a trip to Ohio to smack the shit out of him for taking advantage of my Dad when he was at a low point.

His mother passed the summer of 2011 with only one child support payment under her belt.  SB visited my Dad during that time.  I made sure that I had a full work schedule and was never available to be any place he might be.  After his visit I received a letter from SB which read:

07-01-2011

Hello there how are you doing?  There are a couple of things that I wanted to talk to you in person but I feel better putting them down in writing.  I received a letter from the child support enforcement agency here in Columbus and it stated that the case will be officially closed on 09/24/2011.  I feel that you need to know this because I guess you were upset when dad received the paperwork in the mail.  There is one more important thing I want to say to you.

I want the both of us to make an effort to get along with each other as family.  I have never had animosity, ill will, or mean negative feelings toward you.  Whats past is past and whats done is done, water under the bridge.  Lets have a better relationship and get along with each other because life is short.  Yes Michelle, life is too short and you and I should concentrate on now and the FUTURE.  To be honest with you Michelle, I really dont know you as a person other than your name but, I want to get to know you as a person and you should get to know me as a person.  I know that I may be an outsider in the family but, I really dont like the idea of being on the outside.

Michelle, life would be much better and much nicer if you we had a great relationship and got to know each other.  I would like it very much if we could keep in touch by either phone or email each other back & forth.  I know that you are a busy woman with work, the house, and family but when you get some free time please call me, write or send an email to me just to say HELLO or whatever you want to talk about.  Would you be interested in having a good relationship with me as family?  because I want to have a family type relationship with you as family.

Hey there young lady, I must admit that you are not a bad person and you do have some good qualities about yourself that I like —>

1. You are a hard worker

2. Your independent and mature

3. You are a very religious person who has a strong belief in GOD

4. You have grown up from a cute, little girl that I remember to a mature, independent, attractive, sexay, beautiful young lady

5. Both your kids turned out o.k KUDOS

SB has good features too

1. sincere

2. kind

3. sweet

4. cute

5. adorable, wonderful

6. very handsome

7.  a little crazy

8. and a little obnocious (ON WEEKENDS)

9. and an all around nice guy

Well, I just want to say

Best Wishes and Take Care

((pause))

So, because his mom died and the (foolishly charged) child support stopped I was supposed to now just say “Oh geeze, you’re my hero – let’s make amends!”?  Fuck off.  No, seriously.  Fuck off.  “I want the both of us to make an effort…”  DUDE – HOW MANY TIMES OF ME IGNORING YOU DO YOU REQUIRE TO GET THE POINT I WILL NOT MAKE ANY EFFORT TO BEFRIEND YOU, YOU FREAK OF FUCKING NATURE?!?!?!?!  In reading any of his letters, they start out one way and it is as if another personality switches over and he goes from some weird relative to a scary freak.  I never thought of myself as a bad person, thanks for clarifying that for me? AND what freaking sibling calls you SEXAY?!?!?!?  And think of yourself as cute, adorable and handsome as qualities a step-sister should find of merit enough to submit to a great relationship?!?!  What. The. Fuck.  May the force be up your ass!  That’s what I have to say about it all.  And, he held no ill will towards me, water under the bridge and all?  YOU WERE THE ONE WHO SUED DAD FOR CHILD SUPPORT DOUCHE!!

Ok – stop, breathe, calm down.  Ugh.  If only it ended there.  I ignored that letter.  Of course I called my sister and fussed like a MF’er, but I ignored it.  Did not tell Dad about it (why should I worry him that his son is a literal freak?!?)  Then came the news that he was coming to WV for Thanksgiving.  Please note that this was the first Thanksgiving in so many years that I cannot even remember that I did not spend with one (or both) of my parents.  All because of this poor excuse of a tard.  I made excuses to Dad so he would not feel bad.  We had a fake Thanksgiving on Sunday with the kids.  I protected my Dad from once again telling him his son has mental issues.

While he was at my Dad’s house – he rooted through my Dad’s paperwork in the kitchen, found Amanda’s cell number and then proceeded to harrass the hell out of her by cell phone.  Although he was told I wanted nothing to do with him, he showed up on my doorstep pounding on the door (which went unanswered – lucky bastard – I was in the back of the house giving the cat a bath but it scared Mander to no end).  Then he went home.  And still I ignored it.  He sent Christmas cards to Mander and I (Mander’s was signed his name and telephone number and mine had a reminder that he meant EVERYTHING in his letter sent this summer).  Still I ignored it.  Then, the last straw.  On my blog here – he found through internet creeping – he left a comment – “Hello Michelle.How are you doing this Christmas?I just wanted to say that I have just read your blog about your recent blog about 2 Forgive Or Not To Forgive and I was really touched by your story.I had no idea what you went through growing up but now,I get it.You are a survivor,remember that.Have you thought about writing a book about your life growing up through today?Hey,I would be interested in reading your book.I know that you probably never heard me say this to you but,I love and care about you as a step sisterand you are indeed a wonderful lady and a wonderful human being.Call Me-(number withheld for blog) so we can chat.  Merry Christmas Michelle  Your Wonderful Handsome Step Bro”

First of all, I have repeatedly blocked you from FaceBook and now you are moving on to my blog?  And no, you don’t fucking get it.  You don’t get it at all.  You have made me uncomfortable, you are creepy and I am tired of ignoring you in a hopes that you will just STOP.  And although this note is more mild than the previous, it is still signed with “hansome” and it is sent on the tail end of my REPEATEDLY making it known that I want no contact.  Seriously?  It was the last straw.  Done.  So I put together a letter and sent it to him certified so he had to sign it and I would have proof when I went to the authorities for a restraining order that he knows I want no form of contact with him, nor does my daughter.  I wanted him to receive it, in plain English so my intentions are not misunderstood, that I was perfectly clear.  My letter read:

I do not feel comfortable with you in any fashion.  You are my step-brother and you continue to creep me out and make me feel uncomfortable with comments like calling me sexy or saying that you want to have a relationship with me.  It is unacceptable the way you present yourself to me, as my “step brother”.  A person does NOT call their siblings “sexy”.  It is gross and improper.  Since I was a young kid, every time I came in contact with you, you made me uncomfortable.  I ignored it for the sake of my Dad.  I am not the only one who you have made uncomfortable with your attentions you place on me.  As such, please let this letter stand as a request from me to you to cease and desist from any form of (or attempt at) communication with me and/or my daughter, Amanda.

Please refrain from any contact with me.  Do not call, write, email, comment on my social pages.  I do not want to have any contact with you whatsoever.

I am sending this letter certified with a return receipt requiring your signature as proof that I have asked you to cease and desist from ANY form of communication with me.

In addition, do not try to contact Amanda, my daughter.  Do not call, write, email or comment on her social pages.  Amanda does not want to have any contact with you whatsoever.

I am sending this letter certified return receipt as proof that I have asked you to cease and desist from ANY  form of communication with my daughter, Amanda.

If you continue to try to contact me or Amanda in ANY manner I will seek assistance from a magistrate and ask that a restraining order be placed upon you.

Again – no contact with me, Michelle Seletyn Rodriguez and/or no contact with my daughter, Amanda.

He received that letter Christmas Eve and signed for it.  I do not care that he received it on a holiday.  I sent it the very first opportunity I could after he commented on my blog and that it was Christmas Eve when he signed it falls on him, not me.  Do you think it would end there?  I would have thought that to be enough to spook him into realizing that he is treading dangerously close to being held accountable by the authorities for his actions.  That (just maybe) he would then realize the severity of my feeling so uncomfortable with his unwarranted attentions.  That maybe now – he would be forced to just STOP (which was all I ever wanted).  Yet no, he still continues.

So I am on the phone with Daddy and I can tell there is something up.  I tell him I am stopping by on the way home from work.  I stop in and I can immediately see that he is hesitant about something.  I am trying to figure out what is going on and then he tells me SB sent him a letter.  Seriously?!?  All this time I have been protecting my Dad from the freak nature of his son and SB wrote a letter pleading his case and included a copy of MY letter (which I am thankful he did, yet another form of proof that I have asked him to cease and desist and he is aware that his attentions are unwanted.)  His letter reads:

12-27-2011

Dear Dad,

I know that this is the holiday season and I am sorry for dumping this in your lap but here is a copy of the letter Michelle sent me.

1.  Michelle claims that she doesn’t feel comfortable with me in any fashion so why wait till the holiday season to tell me?

2. I have never said or done anything to her daughter Amanda to make her uncomfortable.  I have been cordial.

3. Michelle misinterprets things like the “relationship part” not as a girlfriend but as family.

4. I have said nothing but nice things to Michelle like her being a wonder person, an attractive woman and a great mother.

I think that she has personal issues from the past that she hasnt dealt with like the child support situation between my late mother and dad.  I also think she has some psychological issues.

Whenever I wrote nice things to Michele like in the letter I wrote a while back I was careful in what I wrote.

Michelle has the gall and nerve to send me this letter during the holiday season.  Who was it that was there for her when her mother Becky passed away? I WAS!

I was there for moral support or did Michelle forget that? I was cordial with her too.  I cant believe that Michelle would stoop so low as to get mad at me for sending her and Amanda XMAS cards putting my phone # in them.  What is the harm in that?

Well I guess that you cant reason with a person who is irrational.

Your son

PS TALK TO HER PLEASE OH TERESA THOUGHT THAT WHAT ‘M’ DID WAS WEIRD

I love that he has done nothing to make Amanda feel uncomfortable but there is no mention of doing things to make ME uncomfortable.  There is no mention of his calling me sexy or continually making himself seem “datable” in his list of attributes.  When he wrote to me, why did he have to be “careful in what I wrote”?  And if ANYONE knows you cannot deal with an irrational person, it would be me.  Two years of blocking pages and ignoring him and I am now forced to seek legal counsel?  I am SO glad he asked Dad to contact me – according to my lawyer, it helps to proceed with a restraining order as I had asked that there be no form of or attempt at communication with me.  The thing is, I did not want it to go to this extreme.  I cannot afford a lawyer, yet one I have.  I cannot afford to take time off from work to see a magistrate, yet his relentless pursuit of me dictates otherwise.  Why can he not just see that I am not comfortable around him, do not want to have a relationship (of the family style or otherwise) with him, and I just want him to GO AWAY.

It should have ended with my certified letter to him.  Surprise! – it did not end there.  He is now on a telephone campaign, calling as many relatives as he can.  He did, in fact, reach my aunt Teresa.  I have reached out to her and asked her that she not discuss me or anything about my kids with him.  I explained that he has gotten to the point of scaring me and no information should be shared with him.  She said he was very upset and went into great (his) detail of events at Christmas.

I have now heard (from multiple sources) that SB has expressed interest in moving to WV.  I cringe at the thought of this.  I truly do.  I believe, given the right circumstances and availability – I would be in physical danger from SB.  I have a Louisville slugger that sits behind my front door and an aluminum bat at the back.  And, after the peeping tom scare from last summer, I am still considering taking a gun course and picking up a small revolver (now more so than ever).

Who the fuck tells their aunt they have been bad and needs spanked?!?!  Who asks female relatives for pictures of them in their bathing suits?!?!?  Who tells their sibling they think she is sexy?!?!

Ugh.

He has used the language “I am not a sexual deviant” – his words, not mine.  But, I believe he is.  I believe that, unless I take some sort of action to protect myself I am potentially in eminent danger.  I believe there is something fundamentally wrong with him.  I refuse to be antagonized or scared.

Ciao