I woke this morning from a vivid dream in which a man, of some interest to me, endeavored to woo me. It left me very awake (because it was so sweet) and a little sad (because the Woo is a lost art form).
Generation Y will never understand the amazing feeling of anticipation associated with woo’ing because they are an age-bracket hell-bent on immediate satisfaction. They were raised on texting, computers, AOL, AIM, Skype. Lost upon them is the concept of handwritten notes and letters which take more effort than tapping out “? ur 20 2morrow…ur cute, DTF?” on their iPhone. In a single week two teenagers can connect, send a stream of texts and social media medium, kiss, hold hands (gawd knows what else) and then realize that… hmmm, I’m just not interested, break up in a dramatic fashion and all the while scoping out the next best relationship – hell, there are a lot of adults I know that fit into that description as well. But, in a world where words are texted in an abbreviated manner beyond recognition in an effort to streamline chat, how can we teach kids to slow it down, to enjoy the slow build of anticipation, or quite simply to realize that “romance” is not an inconvenience.
There was once a time when you had to put your best foot forward. When you were interested in someone you dressed your best, spoke your best and in general were just at your best. The next step was friend-approval (which oftentimes was much more difficult to achieve). Then you went beyond your best, hoping for the approval of the parent(s) of your love interest. THEN you went out on a date. All the while you got to know the other person, talked to each other. I miss the days of having someone want to impress you because you are worth the effort. With the various outlets for communication, the field of “datable options” has expanded, thereby allowing people to “relationship hop”. Why would someone want to “stoop” to dating someone who is not “perfect” (at least in their eyes) when they can simply hop online and meet someone in a chat room? A person who offers pictures where they look their best, words that they steal from famous authors, and once they somewhat know you, type out everything they feel you want to hear – all the while sitting at their computer, looking the slob, unemployed and feeling bad that the picture they just sent you was from ten years and twenty pounds ago.
But I digress – back to the woo… It is all about the anticipation… Webster’s online definition for anticipation is as follows: the introduction in a composition of part of a chord that is about to follow in full. The music world views it the same as I do. The woo’er introduces pieces of themselves and gives the woo’ee an idea of what is to follow in full. To woo, one builds anticipation for the next step. You connect, you speak, you write notes (I am fine with emails but it needs to be great writing from the heart), you meet in person, you eagerly wait for your arm to brush against theirs, you are thrilled in their presence, you look directly into their eyes, you dare to hold a hand, your breath is caught in your chest, you smile, you compliment, you encourage, you give full attention, you embrace, you kiss, you lay your head on your pillow to dream about what comes next – each little tidbit that is given is like a cliffhanger and leaves you chomping at the bit for the next episode. The best woo is drawn out over days – it makes you smile to yourself – it makes you daydream about the potential of what is to come. Good woo is better than any drug. Sigh.
And for those of you who use the power of the woo just for sexual gratification and follow it with an immediate exit – shaaammmmmeee on you. I hope the karma fairy kicks you in the knee.
And please do not confuse Woo with Flirt. They are two very different beasts. (Flirt will be covered in another blog on another day).
Hope you enjoyed my rant.