I have recently found myself on a date for the first time in a considerably long time. I was pleasantly surprised and am happy that I took the chance. In honor of such a marvelous time, I thought I would give a top ten to dating. But what exact topic, hmmm…
Top Ten Things To Make A Date Great:
1. Conversation. When you come away from a date (first date in particular) and you realize that you had a conversation that was engaging, entertaining and thought provoking while also avoiding uncomfortable pauses/quiet moments – you realize there is a certain appreciation for someone who is able to cover topics that interest you.
2. Laughter. There is that old saying that “Laughter is the best medicine.” I tend to agree with that line of thought. However, have you ever been in the company of someone who, when they laugh, it makes your ears hurt a little? That was not the case for me recently. But I have been privy to those circumstances before (trying to not say anything humorous for fear of the hyena that appears from nowhere). I like a good laugh, one that comes from deep within, one from the heart.
3. Commonality. How nice is it when you meet someone who shares similar interests? To be able to say, “Oh my gawd, I know what you are talking about.” and really mean it. Things to build upon.
4. Physical Attraction. Yes, how shallow of me. But, really, you need the physical attraction to be able to carry through to date number two, right?
5. Flirtability. Ok, my own word. But to feel the need to lean into the conversation – to bite the lip and smile coyly- to bat the eyelashes, look away, look back again… how fun is that? But beyond feeling the need to flirt, how nice when the person flirts back in a manner that does not leave you pitying the poor person for their awkwardness. Not everyone can carry a good flirt. This is a fact. Some over flirt and give off the feeling of a lounge lizard. Kinda like Goldilocks, it is nice when it is JUST right.
6. Modesty. There are those who desperately want to impress, no matter the circumstance. Some start talking so much about themselves that they forget that they are there with someone else. The date then becomes a one-sided conversation about the other person. It is nice to find a little modesty in a date. Yeah, impress me. But remember, I am not looking for SuperDateGuy.
7. Interrogation-free Zone. When you suddenly feel as if you are being questioned by the Gestapo for some heinous grievance. And to make it worse, the questions are of such a personal nature that you suddenly feel as if you should go home and change the passwords on your computer for fear of identity theft.
8. Confidence. I know that plays in to a number of the items listed above, however, I find that it is different a little. By confidence I mean someone who is sure of themselves. They are not afraid to look you in the eye when the conversation is happening. They do not stutter when trying to speak. Not to be confused with arrogance, which is confidence taken too far.
9. The Follow Up. When during the date it is mentioned that another date will occur. This is particularly important on the first date. Of course there are also the dates that you do NOT want the follow up which can lead to moments of awkwardness while you are trying to think up the quick excuses.
10. The Kiss. Not every date ends in a kiss. However, there is nothing like the flutter of your heartrate when you realize that the kiss is getting ready to happen. And when you realize that the kiss did not give the feeling of a lizard licking a cactus in the desert…sigh, there is no better relief. The kiss which makes you wish you were the only two people in the room. Yeah, that is nice.
So there you have it my friends, Michelle’s top ten on dating. Eh, not bad.
If I missed something, let me know…