Ok, I know what you are thinking….Michelle, what else could possibly irritate you during your commute. Well, in addition to my top ten, here are a few honorable mentions:
Knees in the back of my seat guy – Ok, I get it, you want comfort. Of course you are getting it at the expense of mine. Do you really need to ball your six foot five frame up into a fetal position and cram your knees into my back?
The Fidgeter – this is the person who sits next to you but never sits still. You know, adjust the way they sit, adjust their purse in their lap, move to the left, move to the right, take out a newspaper, turn the pages.
Mouth Wide Open – these are the people who yawn or cough or (worse) sneeze without covering their mouths. This allows their end of day stale breath to be trapped in our little seated section of the world. I like having certs handy so at the second this opportunity arises, I turn to them and say, “Mint?”.
You are probably amazed that I have lists of irritants. You would be even more amazed at the number of stories I have.
There was this one time when when I sat on the train in the car where the bathroom was located. Upon entering the car you could see that the door to the bathroom was jammed open. The door was LESS than ‘one person wide’ open. On walks a woman, we will call her Flo. I call her Flo because she looked like Florence Jean Castleberry (plus thirty pounds). For you kids born in a generation who does not remember Mel’s Diner from the show Alice – this would be Flo:
So Flo (supersized) comes onto the train and tries her luck at opening the bathroom door. She tugs, she pulls, she pushes but to no avail. It is NOT going to open to allow her in. Much to my amazement, I watch her SQUEEZE herself in this door (a feat that even Houdini would marvel). I am thinking to myself, well now that she has herself in there, what is she going to do? After all, the door doesn’t…Oh…My…Gawd. Yes, you guessed right. She took a pee with the door part way opened. In walks a man who did a double take (and a grimace). I called Erin so I could tell her I just heard a woman pee on the train. I mean, really…only in NYC.
So, as long as the stories keep falling in my lap, I will keep blogging about them. So people outside the bubble of NYC will catch a glimpse of the craziness within.