…have you seen it? If so, please call….ME
Ugh. No, seriously…U.G.H.!
This year should have been so different for me. I have a new tiny camper that I was supposed to be using with greater frequency. I was supposed to be training for the Air Force Half (being run next week). I should be reading any one of the dozens of books that I have picked up in the past several months. I was working diligently on my #48in48 challenge (and enjoying the hell out of it). I was supposed to…well, I was “supposed to” a lot of things. Instead, I am in a constant state of blue, of exhaustion and of blah. A motivationless funk, so to speak. I had surgery in June that turned out shitty (blog in the works for it). Short end to it: I went in for an (almost) out-patient surgery and I woke up HOURS later with a tube down my throat and in my stomach to remove the blood and gunk. Since then it is as if the wind has left my sails. I lost a lot of blood. A lot. I was told it would take forever to get my energy levels back up. I have comfort-eaten myself into a stupor. I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror this past weekend and found myself in tears. I am not where I am “supposed to” be.
So, my mind is set now:
I am working on a schedule for blogs. I have my little journal books everywhere with notes written on music, movies, TV, politics, etc – no loss for subjects.
I am helping move the last of Mander’s stuff tonight into her new apartment and tomorrow will be the jump off day for walking/running/exercising.
I am working on my #48’s list to see where I left off and where I can pick up.
I hope to get a camp trip in the first weekend in October.
I am running the second annual Bridge Day 5K Oct 21st.
So…things. I have things planned. Fun things. Hoping for inspiration. For motivation. For the drive that is missing.
Wish me luck and if you have a minute, send me motivation. I need it.
Categories: Personal History / My Own Words