Update 2017-08-15 Everyone loved the Lannister battle. I liked it, really I did. It’s just – I think that the Battle of the Bastards was far superior. Sure, Dany had her dragon and came in to blow some shit up. BUT…Jon’s battle – standing there as the opposing army was bearing down on him on horseback, drawing his sword, facing the impossible…. Dude, that was so much more bad ass. It was the intimate nature of Jon’s standing down the Boltons. Dany on top of her dragon, way above things came off (IMHO) as too easy. Don’t get me wrong, I was cheering for some dragon flames – well, screaming is more like it, but it was not my favorite battle in the series this far. So, yeah…. updates to my list below after the latest ep will be in this color.
Update 2017-08-08 THERE ARE TOO MANY CHARACTERS AND PLOTS AND SUBPLOTS!!! My brain will eventually implode with all of the GoT knowledge I am stuffing into it. But I love it. There are only three episodes left to this season. Next season will (reportedly) only have six episodes. We have less than ten episodes left of this show. And I love that they are going out with a bang (vs say, TWD who believes they have 5-8 more seasons in the hopper). But, I digress. Updates noted below are after watching S7E4 and will be in this color text.
Original post (2017-08-04) is in black text and was written after S7E3.
Come At Me Brah aka The Night King
My fave meme after Ep 4
OLD SPOILERS (Really, if you do not know these things already, you are not a real GoT fan and have no spoiler-bitch rights).
Ok, so a couple of my Honey-Do items for GoT have been accomplished:
- Arya found her dire wolf
- Walder Frey died in a fitting fashion
- Jon handed over the keys to the castle to Sansa. And dude, she is a good ruler, thinking of her people and anticipating what will be needed.
- Bran found his way home even though he is on “another level
- Arya found her way home and although I liked her entrance through the gate and awkwardness with Sansa, I will probably shed a tear or two when she finally sees Jon.
Even though I did not know it should be on my list, I am glad we got in a visit with Hot Pie.
My current Honey-Do list for GoT (remember, this is my list, I do not need your scorn):
- Cersei will choke on a bug and die, giving no one vengeance in her death. Are there no gnats in King’s Landing??? FAN THEORY SPOILER: On a more serious note, the fortune teller told her she would die being choked by the little brother (also notes “hands”). Everyone looked to Tyrion to be the little brother in question. Then everyone looked to Jamie once he has reached his limit with Cersei. I think Jamie will never harm Cersei because he loves her blindly. So what other little brother could it mean? Maybe the little brother of Greyjoy? Euron?? In the books I think he liked choking women. Maybe he could be the one? Cersei really is just an asshole, isn’t she. She says she is preggo but I think it is a lie to keep Jamie in check. I believe now that that might be his breaking point for choking the shit out of her. Could be wrong, could still be a bug, but I believe it will be fake baby drama.
- Arya will be wearing a bug mask (so I guess someone does get vengeance). I think Arya will die within the next handful of episodes because of her arrogant smirk to Brienne as she repeatedly won while sparring. There was something in that smirk that made me feel this was a dramatic karma setup. The big chatter is whether LF is playing her or vice versa. I believe it is all too possible that she and Sansa are scamming LF. After all, the peeps with no faces can tell if you are a liar, right? I think that by Arya pretending to be fooled, LF will then go to Sansa to hatch plans and they will then know his plot. The reason I think this is because as Bran handed Arya the dagger, Sansa told her (in so many words) that she does not trust LF and he wants something. I believe that is where the plan was hatched to double back on him. Two eps left – this upcoming one will be the next to last ep and that (when there were 10 eps) was the one where shit breaks loose and people die. Arya’s list is long, mine is Little Finger and Sansa.
- Tyrion is a Targaryen and rides a dragon (but we find Cersei and Jamie are House T too) Now, don’t forget that Tyrion went into the dragon dungeon two seasons ago and the dragons did not burn him. I keep thinking of that scene. However, I believe that he will (sadly) not ride a dragon. I believe Bran will take control and like with the ravens following the white walkers this ep, King of the Night will look up and put a stop to it and in the dragon’s moment of confusion while trying to regain it’s mind the Night King will kill it and have the blue eyed dragon.
- If Cersei IS a Targaryen, that would currently make her the Mad Queen (previously I wanted Dany in this position). I have thought more on this – The Mad King wanted to burn them all and, well, Cersei did JUST that…. I seriously still believe she is the mad fucking queen. You cannot take that away from me and I will believe it until the very end. GRRM will have to call and say no for me to think otherwise.
- Jon Snow must die. Everyone loves the battle from S7E4. And, I do too. Just not as much. I do not think that it is greater than the Battle of the Bastards. And I am not a Jon fan (in the least, still must die, still think he is overrated). However, there was something about his standing out there, alone, on the battlefield, facing down an approaching army. He is not high in the sky away from the battle on the back of a lethal weapon. His battle is more intimate and immediate. FAN THEORY POSSIBLE SPOILER: There is a theory that Dany is the embodiment of Nisa Nisa and that Jon is the Promised Prince (Melisandre would not tell her she was the promised one, she told her that she had a role to play). If that is the case, Jon will have to drive his sword through her heart to make it lethal for the Walkers. The theory goes along the lines that he will drive the sword through her heart, kill the King of the Night and then turn to give her the kiss of life (giving his life force to her). He will make the ultimate sacrifice and die saving the world and she will go on to rule from the Iron Thrones. But there is also a Fan Theory that he will kill the Night King and then become the new Night King and that is his sacrifice to save the world and he will take the night army back to the recesses of winter beyond the wall. If that happens, I see a Disney-like ending with him walking away and flowers blooming behind him in sunshine as he leaves. He is, after all, kinda like Frosty the Snowman and will melt in the sun and all (my theory, no one else’s). But yet another theory reminds us of Dany’s vision of returning to her husband and child in the tent – that that signifies her sacrifice in the end and her reward for saving the world. Jon still has to die. The last ep should be called “Jon dies in the end.” BUT the whole “his parents were secretly wed after his dad ditched his wife” factoid that Gilly blurted out (and Sam was a douche and ignored) would put him as an heir to the throne proper. I still would be totally ok with his kicking the bucket. Also (SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER) I KNOW that in the trailer, when Jon is running in front of Tormund (my second favorite ginger) it is to outrun the polar bear!!! I keep hearing in my head “I don’t have to run faster than the bear, I just have to run faster than Chelle’s second favorite ginger.”
- The red priestess returns in the nick of time with dragons we knew nothing about (she must immediately sacrifice herself as a food offering to accomplish this). This chick also told Gendry: “You are more then they could ever be. They are just foot soldiers in the great war. You will make kings rise and fall.” I really hope she has a spare dragon. I also really hope the Onion King gets to be her demise (as she has to die in this strange land after all) and serves justice for his little fallen (cooked well done) friend.
- Arya takes down Sansa with Needle (I still blame Red for the death of Ned), she becomes Queen of the North and takes Gendry as her husband. For just the briefest of moments I thought we were going to see a catfight in the catacombs. But, alas…Sansa lives. You could tell when it became apparent that Arya had a list and that she was capable of accomplishing her goal – that Sansa became nervous. Sadly, I believe that Gendry will be one of the bigger deaths in this episode. The Hound is sporting his war hammer during the preview. It does not bode well for him. I really thought that it would be a beautiful thing if the daughter of Ned could marry the son of Robert. I will hpe for that until Gendry takes his last shallow breath.
- Jamie is NOT allowed to end up a “good guy” nor is he allowed a dragon. He isn’t dead. Come on, that would be entirely too easy. And, if he did die this way I would applaud the show because, after all, I want Cersei to choke on a bug and die and non-epic death and if Jamie is alive there is the possibility that he will slay her before the gnat flies into her mouth. I see her being murdered at the hands of another and his blind love will throw him into a rage to kill the murderer. I hated how they had Bron pull him out of the water. COME ON! That armor – there is no possible way. I don’t care if he did puke. The show lost 3/4ths of a cool point for that one. Meh.
- Varys is a merman. Would explain why he has no genitalia. I did read in one of the fan pages that the proper word to use for my fan fantasy is “merling”. We will go with that and this wish still stands strong.
- Yara Greyjoy escapes and then rescues the Sand Queen (they left her alive for a reason dammit). You know the reason she did not speak or tell Euron to fuck off while being leashed through the streets is because he cut out her tongue, right? Where is Euron right now?? Could he be the one that is coming through the gates of the wall in the cloaks and hoods? I think that if Cersei sends him there and he gets killed that would be one less iron-born that she would have to marry. Could be wrong. But I could not make out who that was coming out of the wall into the North….hmmmmm
- The Mountain breaks out into his own version of Putting On The Ritz. “If you’re blue and you don’t know where to go to, why don’t you go where fashion sits…” “Dressed up like a million dollar trooper, trying hard to look like Gary Cooper. Super Duper…”
- The Hound ends up with the wacky white eyes and he and Bran go on a side adventure. Meera doesn’t drag either of them. The Raven told Bran he would never walk again but he would fly – think he will go into the mind of a dragon and control it? Will that be the dragon that dies (cause you know it will happen, it has too). So the Hound has the war hammer in the preview. What does it mean? WHAT DOES IT MEAN? It means he lives to see another episode. I like that he is still snarky.
- Brienne of effing Tarth gets fitted for a pregnant armor because my favorite shipping couple is preggos with their first giant ginger baby. “Is the big lady coming.” Seriously, she needs to be looking through bridal magazines and choosing honeymoon destinations.
- The Onion King will have a shot at the throne. I really love me some Davos. And although I do not think that he will have a shot at the throne, it would be nice if he was officially noted as Hand of the King of the North. He needs a lapel pin like Tyrion. IMHO. Every episode I love him a little more. Which is why, I think he will die in the next two eps. There is no way a character I hold this dear can survive the next to last GoT ep. GRRM would not have it.
- Lady Stoneheart will appear, enticing Little Finger and then gutting him. I still want this scenario. SO MUCH. However, LF using Cat’s name in vain and Bran throwing LF’s own words back at him “Chaos is a ladder.” Was ALMOST as amazing. I flip Little Finger off every time he is onscreen. I truly despise that man. Despise. I love that he is nervous, seeing catspaw on the hip of Arya. But I truly think her killing him is too obvious, unless there is a subplot: MY NEW Little Finger THEORY – Little Finger never does his own dirty work. He guides others to do the dirty work. Catspaw, for instance, was his and made its way to Winterfell to kill Bran. That was because of LF’s manipulation. He then lied and laid blame on Tyrion and thus set into motion the death of Cat and Rob (because dominos fall as they do). Would it not be great if Bran took a page from LF’s playbook and gave the same dagger to Arya knowing she will kill LF with it? (He knows and sees all, after all.) LF is the evil side of the chessboard, always moving pieces. It would be amazing to see his comeuppance come in the form of having it end that way. There was supposedly a nod to GRRM and Lady Stoneheart during the episode where Brienne and Arya spar. A woman with auburn hair walks in the background and everyone was all atwitter that it was a nod to LS. Personally, I thought it looked like the girl from Brave. Damn ginger women all look alike!
- We see a white crawler (yep, the Night King turns a toddler) – that shit would creep me out more than the adults! Whatever happened to that baby from like Season 1 that was sacrificed by Gilley’s husband-dad to the White Walkers and had it’s eyes change?? Do they age or grow up? I desperately want it to be riding the polar bear. And, in my mind’s eye, I see it looking like Boss Baby, big head and all.
- Dany and a dragon go down at the hand of the Night King and the dragon emerges with blue eyes. We might not get blue but we will def get white eyes cause you KNOW that Bran is going to take a dragon over…come on, you know it! I believe there will be a blue eyed dragon this ep, but I believe it will first have the Brann white eyes.
- Ser Jorah gets there the second after Dany dies (I know, I am an asshole). I know this will not happen, they are too Hollywood for that. I do think there will be jealous friction between Jorah and Jon though. Maybe Jorah will get “seconds” when Jon dies in the end? There is a lot of dramatic irony build up on Jorah. He gets back and immediately heads out on a dangerous mission. I felt tension between he and Jon (ahem Dany’s nephew… Dany and Jon, kissing in a tree…k-i-s-s-i-n-cest….) Can’t claim that, I wish I could, I saw it on a meme. I see Jorah as a potential victim in the next episode – maybe his dragonscale is not cleared all the way up, maybe he is injured and dies in return transit, becoming the white walker sample that is required to convince the seven kingdoms…hmmm….
- The Night King was once a boy with no name and when he removes his face he is Sam (it is always the nice ones that get ya) – Sam then returns to the Citadel to write the events (therefore we are watching this series as it is told through the eyes of Sam, The Night King). Sam was a bit of a douche to Gilly. So, I can totally see him being the Night King. But alas, he is just writing this whole thing.
- At the end of the series, it is a flash forward and Lyanna Mormont sits on the Iron Throne, the seven kingdoms are prospering AND she has found a unicorn. I am really mad that we have had no sparring sessions with Lyanna. She should have come into play to learn of Jorah by now….
- The thought of Arya, Brienne and Little Lady Mormont sparring together makes me happy. I hope we get to see the Little Lady do her thing and be as good as she is confident. Lyanna needs to forgive Jorah for the mark upon the family. Maybe they can allow that.
- Because I love my friend Ben, I hope that Theon Greyjoy has a gruesome death. It is funny though, that since our back and forth comparison of Theon v Greyjoy I am now suddenly hating Jorah because he was a douchebag to his comrades, was banished to attend to Dany and then everything after that he did out of lust (I believe more so than loyalty or love). They will make him to be a hero because of his “love” for Dany. But I now think Jorah is a bit of a douche. That may develop differently for me, we will see. Back to Theon – I did not have him in my original post because I did not like him enough or feel bad enough for him or despise him enough to include. He was more or less a subcharacter needed to fulfill a plot line. At best: meh. Where the fuck are the Greyjoys? Does Theon’s sister still have her tongue or was it cut out by Euron? Will she ever see her olive skinned lover again?? Tune in to find out….
- Wait…. there will be a flaming sword this episode!! How fun. But will the reanimators survive the episode? Maybe they will be the throw away characters for that battle scene??
All kidding aside, the two (now four) things that intrigue me the most:
- Arya is losing her humanity while The Hound is finding his. I look forward to their seeing each other again and the conversation that will take place. If it occurs, I am not sure which reunion I will enjoy more: Jon/Arya (I may tear up a little) or Arya/Hound (I will def tear up a little and then chuckle as she drives needle through his heart because he was, after all, on her death list).
- I feel that there are two main characters in the entire series: Varys and Little Finger. Varys moves the chess pieces for good while Little Finger moves them for evil. I would like to see an exchange (conversation, battle, duel, et al) between the two to bring this to light. I would be TOTALLY fine with this being the closing scene of the whole series (although LF being dead now would maybe make me happier, I just do not see that wish being fulfilled). I feel like Varys and Tyrion are going a little dark post-LordsBBQ. Could this be the opening to Dany’s third betrayal? Hmmmm…. Still would enjoy seeing Varys putting a blade through LF. Maybe Varys will eventually make his way to the Stark abode and chaos will ensue between he and fucking LF??? Possible.
- I believe this season will wrap up all of the “kingdoms interacting”. And, if not, the FIRST episode of next season will offer closure to all of the loose ends. By then: Cersei will fall and Jamie will die because of his blind love for her. Euron will fall as a result of killing Cersei. Theon and his sister will reunite (she without her tongue) and will fight alongside of the “good” guys. As Sam’s dad lies bleeding out after some sort of war/altercation, he will see his rejected son be a key element in saving the world. He will die anyway. Missandei will screw over Dany (she is supposed to be betrayed three times: The witch who zombied Dogo and Jorah Mormont and the other two IMO). Arya will die in battle (we saw with the sand king guy what happens to really good fighters who are too big for their britches). I am torn on Arya. I am not sure if I like her without a face or maybe she has too many faces? I still see a Robert’s kid and Ned’s kid joining….
- I may get a little pissy if Arya does not kill off everyone left on her death list. After all, we were forced to hear her recite that list over and over and over. They cannot just let it drop off without killing off Ilyn Payne.
As this season plods on, I will update this blog to see if my Honey-Do List is completed. Updated 2017-08-08. Updated 2017-08-15.
Do you have a prediction or fan theory you enjoy? If you do, let me know in the comments below! Still would love to hear your theories. Tapping my toe, silently judging you for not posting your theories. I seriously write these for my own entertainment. I don’t need validation from the likes of you… who am I kidding….ugh post damn you!!! ha ha ha ha
Side note: sorry for all of the mismatched fonts on this blog. WordPress does not like me today.
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