Personal History: My Forever Valentine

When I was younger and I dove into something head first, I would later think to myself, “Was it worth it?”  If I answered myself with a “yes”, I felt that life was good.  This morning, I woke up and wished Husband a Happy Anniversary and I thought of my old routine, I asked myself the question and I smiled as I whispered, “yes.”

This is not my first “Ode to Husband” blog.  You can find one here and here and, oh yeah, here.  We always tell people, that I am the result of sexual harassment in the workplace (I jest).  I thought skydiving was going to be my big moment, that I was going to make it the epicenter of my life’s adventure.  Little did I know, that although the DZ would be ground zero for the next phase of my life, skydiving wasn’t exactly what was in store for me.

Memorial Day weekend 2012 – the best skydive I would ever have, too much tequila, a Rodriguez Brothers initiation, and the unexpected first kiss from the man who would become the actual epicenter of my life’s adventure.  My world changed that day.  The haphazard nature of my life would find balance, love, trust and the security of self for which I had been desperately searching.

He will tell you that he knew he loved me from the moment he saw me walking across the parking lot.  I had moved a little blue camper to the end of the DZ trailer park and although I could see the gravel underneath through the holes in the floor, I made due the first few months of working the manifest desk. Soon after that first kiss (that sealed his fate – ha), we were on the road to “forever.”  I closed up shop in little blue and made like George and Wheezy, moving on up to the east side of the DZ.  We were inseparable.  To quote Gump, Bobby and I went together like peas and carrots….

Being with Bobby, I knew he was the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.  One day he asked me, “Why have you not changed your Facebook status to engaged?”  I lifted my ringless hand and said, you haven’t proposed yet.  Then he asked me what kind of ring I would want, where do they have them, etc.  The next weekend we found ourselves at the store where I explained to him that even if we did find the ring I want, it would have been sized because my knuckles do not allow my fingers to be “showroom sized.” In the glass we found my ring, the saleslady handed it to me over the counter and I slid it on my finger without a hitch.  That never happens.  Sign?  He said, while we are here, do you want the matching wedding band?  And I said yes.  And lightning struck twice that day, it fit perfectly as well.  Bobby said, “We will take the pair.”  We decided to grab lunch at Applebees, the ring box was in my lap.  He said, “Do you like your ring?”  I said, through tears, yes.  He said, “Well then, put it on.”  That was his proposal to me.  And, I wouldn’t change a thing.

I felt guilty that we started this whirlwind romance and that my attention was divided.  Dad had been sick and when I quit my job in Fayette County, it was with the intention of moving to New Haven and finding a job and starting our life.  However, Daddy needed me and without hesitation, Bobby said, “Take care of him.”  For the next year I stayed by my Dad’s side while he went through open heart surgery, hypoxia, nursing homes and eventually returned home.  In the middle of all of that sadness, we decided to go ahead and run away and get married, to bring some happiness to dispel the gloom.  So we flew to Vegas, with a handful of loved ones and on top of the Stratosphere we said our vows.

That was four years ago today.  It was crazy and beautiful and everything I could ever dream of.  He set my world on fire.  My, how time has flown.

This past year was one of the most difficult in my life.  I started out the year having a surgery which turned out more serious than previously planned.  When I woke up, he was there, in an uncomfortable chair, waiting for me.  In that moment, he was more than my everything.  He was my anchor to this world. Through that ordeal, I could not imagine loving one person more than I loved him.  Then October 1st came and my world collapsed with the death of my Dad.  He was simply amazing.  He made me realize what it is like to have a partner in life, not just someone you are killing time with.  He carried me through those days.  He let me cry when needed, held me, ran interference when needed and stepped out of his comfort zone to talk to people when I was overwhelmed.

I know that in our short years together we have had a rough go of it with our surroundings (skydive accident, Dad being ill, my working a shitty job before finding my current great one, me being ill, Dad passing).  It can sometimes feel like a struggle.  I also realize that I am a difficult person to live with.  I am loud, demanding, have a temper.  He has weathered every storm I have cast his way, and he is still here, still the love of my life.

Words cannot emphasize the appreciation, the love, the loyalty I have for this man.  My life is better because of him. I am a better person because of him.  I am hoping the next four years of marriage are a little easier than the past four.  But, either way, there is no person I would rather walk the path with than him.

I love you Bobby, you are my life, my Forever Valentine.