(my) Top Ten Commuter Peeves

Ok, ok, ok. I know what you are going to say. I live in NY so I have to expect rude people during my commute. But (really) why should ANYONE have to deal said rude people. I think that those people should be taken aside, stripped of their clothing and made to walk the sidewalks nude. Other commuters would look, shake their head and say….oh, that is one of THOSE commuters…..

(my) Top Ten Commuter Peeves:

1. Jumping Line – When coming off of the LIRR and making my way to the line for the escalator that lets me off on 34th Street, nothing irritates me more than the person who walks past the 125 other people in line to make their own way onto the escalator. If close enough I speak loudly, as if to thin air, and I say, “Yo, asshole, there is a line you know?” If they grace me with turning their face to meet my evil stare, I then explain to them that there is nothing “right” about being rude to other people, that they are “NOT” royalty and therefore should stand in the stupid line JUST like everyone else. If I am close enough to block said line jumpers, my day has been made. The sad thing is I have the escalator that dumps onto 34th only to find the stupid line jumpers on line at the bus stop. More times than not, if they jump the line for the escalator, they also do it for the bus. I am talkative to these people. Talkative.

2. Cell Phones – Ok folks, the bus, the train and the sidewalk…none of those are your personal office. Therefore, do not treat those areas as if you have some privilege. I do not want to know which of your nasty girlfriends hooked up for a one night stand. Nor do I want to know what your real estate agent said about the termite damage to your porch. And I DAMN sure do not want to hear you on a crowded train while I am trying to get some sleep. Over the intercom of the LIRR, you will hear, “Please be courteous to those around you when using your cell phone. Keep your voices down and conversations short.” Unfortunately these fools have the phones up to their ears and never hear the announcements.

3. Group Gatherings – what I mean by this is…on the LIRR there is a set of seats where multiple people may face one another:

A group gathering occurs when those seats are all taken up by “friends”. They then speak loudly and carry on as if this is their living room and it is their right. I had an issue with this once. I blogged about it. I will post the old blog here in a minute so you can appreciate it.

4. People who walk on your right hand side – there is an unspoken rule that keeps traffic flowing correctly. It is ‘just stay right’. It works in automobiles and sidewalks just the same. Nothing is worse than trying to make your way down a crowded sidewalk only to meet someone head on, on your side.

5. Smokers – sorry guys. I know you have your rights and all. But to smoke on a train platform where other people have to congregate is ridiculous. What? That cigarette you JUST put out was not enough? Like I want to go to work smelling like an ashtray!

6. Those who refuse to scruntch – these are the people who take up the space of three people when standing on the bus. This sucks drastically when you are standing in the rain and a bus that seats/stands over 60 has only 25 on the bus AND there is no room.

7. Those who are not in as big a hurry as I am – those are the ones that are just moseying along, taking their time without a care in the world.  Walking kind of in the middle of your side so you cannot get around them. Those who are in a bigger hurry than me – and run my ass over when I am already running down the sidewalk.

8. Nose Pickers – come on.  I have snot issues.  It makes me want to vomit to see a cranial miner.  COME ON I CAN SEE YOU!!!  Again, this makes me talkative.  I will tell someone that I can see them and that I puke on sight.

9. Tourists – I live in the mecca of tourism, NYC.  I wish there were “tourist hours” when they are not allowed on sidewalks or in areas of commerce.  Their hours should only be between 10am and 11am then again from 1pm to 4pm and then again from 7pm until 6am.  All other times should be considered “commuters only” hours.  Come on people – it is JUST a building, I do not care if Sleepless In Seattle WAS filmed there.

10.  That guy who spreads his legs wide open and takes up two seats – enough said.

One comment

  1. Phones. The last time I was up in Maine at Bar Harbor we went out to Cadillac Mountain. A beautiful place, quiet, primordial, with amazing contemplative views out over the Atlantic. A place where the ocean breezes speak to you and allow your thoughts to wander, or contemplate the infinite randomness of the oceans. After a few minutes this guy comes up with his cell phone. I am sure you have encountered those people who feel that they need to talk louder on a cell, and often repeat things when they are on a bad connection. So the beauty of nature was interrupted by a rather Jerseyesque sounding man shouting “Yeah…Yeah I’m on Cadillac Mountain..CADILLAC MOUNTAIN….YEAH…its fucking awesome…FUCKING AWE…..NO, I SAID ITS FUCKING AWESOME…”

    He called about three people in the course of an hour and this scenario played out several times because he seemed adamant on following us.

    So, yeah…I feel your pain there.

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